# Chuck Norris Facts....



## Jr. (Nov 3, 2008)

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.


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## ForPits&Giggles (Oct 21, 2008)

Lol, good stuff. I like the Devil one.


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## ptw (Jan 8, 2009)

I've got the book. I could go for days. LOL


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## Jr. (Nov 3, 2008)

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*ck*ng Indian.


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## MetalGirl30 (Apr 15, 2008)

Now thats some funny s%$t right there.....

Chuck Norris toilet paper...LMAO!!!


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## Ncprisonguard (Jan 19, 2009)

LOL...I love those!


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## bahamutt99 (May 14, 2008)

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

There is not a chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

BTW...

Go on Google and type in "find chuck Norris" and click "I'm Feeling Lucky." The response is dope.



> Google won't search for *Chuck Norris* because it knows you don't find *Chuck Norris*, he finds you.
> 
> No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found.
> 
> ...


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## Jr. (Nov 3, 2008)

bahamutt99 said:


> Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
> 
> There is not a chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
> 
> ...


omg! bwaahaahahahahaa


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## Jr. (Nov 3, 2008)

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.


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## Jr. (Nov 3, 2008)

Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.


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## mims230 (Jan 20, 2009)

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris


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