# Young Girls



## MetalGirl30 (Apr 15, 2008)

My 14 year old niece called me yesterday saying that she is going to have plastic surgery on her nose and breast.
Good gracious she is only 14 and just beginning to go through puberty. I told her that she should wait till she gets older and fully grown before having any procedures done.
What is it with these kids these days that they are in such a hurry to grow up or look grown.
Her reason for doing it is b/c all her girlfriends are bigger and prettier than her. I could not imagine being a teenager in this day and time. It's like all these young girls are trying to meet some super model quota or something. Never in a million years would I let my daughter get plastic surgery at such a young age. I told my sister she was stupid for letting her do it.
Her excuse was that "well she wants it done, so there is nothing I can do about it." Boy that made me hot... I told her first off she is a minor and a child and you are her PARENT, since when did you allow her to reverse those rolls and make the rules. Does she pay the bills, work, contribute anything to the family besides demanding what she wants, put food on the table, clothes on your back...NO!!!! She is not even old enough to drive, but can have serious surgery...please!!!
Why is it soooo hard for parents to say NO??? It is just as easy as saying yes in my book and my kids will tell you I am the "NO QUEEN". If you don't deserve it, you don't get it. I work to hard for my money to shove it down the drain.


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## Sampsons Dad (Jul 4, 2008)

I agree with you but then again I am old school.
A kid should be seen and not heard.
People are so sad now-a-days.
It is the fault of parents that do not teach
the laws and morals that teach the proper mind set.
I teach my kids direct Bible principles that say we are created in the image of God, not some anorexic barbie character!

That family needs to study the good book.


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## BedlamBully (Jun 6, 2008)

I agree that 14 is WAY too young, she's not done developing. Who knows how she will turn out!

If she still wants surgery when she's over 18 and SHE can pay for it then fine. I almost got a tummy tuck...but opted for a kick ass tattoo to cover the little pudge instead. haha


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## hell no they wont go (Oct 4, 2007)

its society these days. society is ruining the way of life i mean come on a parent AGREEING let a CHILD (yes if 14 means you are still very much a child) get breast implants!? hell i am 19 my mom flipped when i told her i got a tongue ring back a few months ago!!!!!!


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## NesOne (Feb 7, 2008)

Man, and I thought plastic surgery was only happening over here in L.A. Is it even legal for breast implants on a 14 year old? I mean, I would hope that a Dr. would not recommend it, then again, he/she has bills to pay too I guess. I can't believe the response that your sister gave you, talk about spoiling your kids. Well I hope that your sister changes her mind, especially when she sees how much it's going to cost...

What does your niece's father have to say about it?


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## OldFortKennels (Mar 10, 2006)

> What is it with these kids these days


The real question is, what is with the PARENTS!


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## smokey_joe (Oct 14, 2005)

Wow. Maybe the money for the boobies would be better spent on family counseling.


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## reddoggy (Jan 31, 2008)

This is a sad sad problem...
On the other hand, my daughter is six and when she turns 14 and she can afford thousands os dollars for surgery all the power to her cause she'd be far smarter than I. Seriously, your sister says "there's nothin I can do about it", yeah there is-DON'T PAY FOR IT!!! Kids can sneak off and get piercings and such because it's cheap in comparison, but surgery? Come On! I don't even think the Dr. will want to operate on her anyway because she's still developing


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## American_Pit13 (Apr 23, 2007)

Sampsons Dad said:


> A kid should be seen and not heard.


If I where a few years younger this would be an argument, but now that I am the mother I say Hell Ya!!!! lol:goodpost: :thumbsup:


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## Sampsons Dad (Jul 4, 2008)

My mom used to cut me such a look if I spoke out of turn..:curse: !


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## MetalGirl30 (Apr 15, 2008)

Well I do not believe in children should be seen and not heard. I believe they should be allowed to a point to express themselves. Part of the problem now a days is that parents won't listen/talk to their kids b/c they are so wrapped up in their own lives to give a crap.
I am old school myself, grew up living the military life. It was nothing for my mom to knock the crap out of me for mouthing off and I can tell you how each brand of soap taste...Irish Spring is the WORSE!!!
Parents are not parents anymore they want to be friends first a parent second. I tell my kids all the time it is not my job to be your best friend.
I tried to sit down and have the birds and the bees talk with my daughters...they started to educate me, and tell me everything...thanks to the school system having sex ed in 3rd grade.
If the doctor does the surgery he needs to lose his license and I will turn him in,, but it is amazing what people will do for a buck now a days.
As far as my sis is concerned, she acts like a 15 year old herself,, so her views of stupidity are to be expected.
Sure she is my sis, and I do love her, but I do not have to like and agree with everything she does. I am a straight forward and honest person.. you ask for my opinion and you will get one regardless if you like it or not.
I just hate that my niece feels like she needs to alter herself to fit in. She is a beautiful girl inside and out.
I have called her father and made him aware of what she is doing. The man pays child support and does everything a father should and it is only fair that he knows, b/c it is his money that will more and likely be used. My sis is the type of person who likes to do things behind his back and then hollers about how he is not there for her.
I know it sounds like I am a busy body, but my niece needs someone to look out for her.


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## bullybabe (Mar 2, 2006)

If my kid asked for plastic surgery I would laugh and say HELL NO!!!!! I do agre that society plays a HUGE part. Me and my husband were talking and we dont have any kids but we have nieces and nephews. Anyways we think kids are given too many options. My sister n law would make like 3 different meals cuz her kids wouldn't eat it. She do it until thier happy. She also did the to the timeout thing and it didn't work. I remeber getting my butt smack on many occasion. I know when I was little and I didn't eat what my dad made well then I went hungry. If my dad told me to do something the I didn't have a choice. I had to do it. HE raised 4 four by himself and we never got anything handed to us, if we wanted something then we had to work for it. I work in retail and I see teenagers talking to their parents like the dirt. Mt dad would pop me in the mouth..hell he'd do it today and I am 32. I think some parents are scared of their children.


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## MetalGirl30 (Apr 15, 2008)

bullybabe said:


> If my kid asked for plastic surgery I would laugh and say HELL NO!!!!! I do agre that society plays a HUGE part. Me and my husband were talking and we dont have any kids but we have nieces and nephews. Anyways we think kids are given too many options. My sister n law would make like 3 different meals cuz her kids wouldn't eat it. She do it until thier happy. She also did the to the timeout thing and it didn't work. I remeber getting my butt smack on many occasion. I know when I was little and I didn't eat what my dad made well then I went hungry. If my dad told me to do something the I didn't have a choice. I had to do it. HE raised 4 four by himself and we never got anything handed to us, if we wanted something then we had to work for it. I work in retail and I see teenagers talking to their parents like the dirt. Mt dad would pop me in the mouth..hell he'd do it today and I am 32. I think some parents are scared of their children.


AMEN TO THAT!!! 
The day my kids decides to smart off or think that they overrule me will be the day they have no teeth.
My 14 year old son has raised his hand to me ONCE and ended up on his arse!!! Then got it from his father when he got home from work.
I have earned everything in life that I have got or gotten.
Like they said on the report 60 minutes done on the generation of today...they are brats. They called them the "Brat Generation".
I totally agree to. Never in my life would I pitch a fit in a store cause I was told no!! I have seen it done so many times and the parents give in so their kid would quit being an embarrassment. Yah right, that door swings both ways in my opinion.
Kids now a days think that money grows on trees. I tell my daughters all the time when they find that tree please let me know. They think that you can just go to the bank and they give you money for free....IF ONLY THAT WERE TRUE HUH!!!
I do not think it is so much that parents are scared of their kids as it is parents scared of the government. A government that teaches our kids to call D.S.S. or the law if your parents punish you or lay a hand on you.


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## litter mates (Jun 5, 2007)

well, if my daughter every wanted plastic surgery, the day she told me that she would need it because i would punch her in the face!!!! children do not respect their selves, parents, other children, anyone else, or anything else. that is do to our quick gratification society. i started working at 13 years old and had to earn everything that i got!!! i can remember my grand mother always saying that your father use to beat the crap out of you kids. i use to tell her that i diserved everything that he gave me and more for the way i acted. i have no children but i'm marring janet and she has 4(17 to 24). i have 5 nephews and i treat them all the same as i do my dogs!!! you get noithing for free, you have to earn it. i'm very stern and it's my way or the highway, but if it's my way then you get everything that i can give and the highway you get nothing. my oldest nephew graduated last year with a 4.5 GPA. i gave him some money and he deserved it.


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## MetalGirl30 (Apr 15, 2008)

Speak of the Devil...
Well I just got a call from my bro...he is so upset about all of this.
Well Him and his ex had it out.
He threatened...she threatened!!
Well long story short...no surgery will be done.
He called a plastic surgeon and they said there is no way they would perform breast implants on a young girl like that. It could harm her b/c she is not developed yet and the implants could bust if she was to all of a sudden start budding.
My sis in law saw it his way b/c he threatened to take his daughter away from her and get her on child endangerment,, b/c that is exactly what it is.
So no more child support for her..which she depends on...if she tries to get it done.
He told my niece that he would take every cent out of her trust fund and give it to charity if she proceeded to try and get the surgery.
He also emailed/talk all the plastic surgeons or is going to, that are in our state and let them know that if she is altered in anyway they will be sued to the full extent.
WAY TO GO BRO!!!
So they are now mad at me for telling...but hey can't make everyone happy huh?


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## NesOne (Feb 7, 2008)

That's great news :thumbsup: and as far as everyone being mad at you, they're a saying that I've heard "You have 2 jobs: to get mad, and get happy" or something like that, hahahaha.


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## smokey_joe (Oct 14, 2005)

NesOne said:


> That's great news :thumbsup: and as far as everyone being mad at you, they're a saying that I've heard "You have 2 jobs: to get mad, and get happy" or something like that, hahahaha.


My mom always told me to "scratch my mad place and get glad!" :hammer:


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## MetalGirl30 (Apr 15, 2008)

I do not rightly care if a 14 year old is mad at me..she is young and will get over it.
She called me last night and we talked for 2 1/2 hours about this.
I have worked in doctor's offices, the E.R., and the hospital floors.
So I have seen plastic surgery gone wrong, and I don't want her to become one of those people.
People need to realize that just b/c someone has a medical degree does not make them a good doctor.
You only have to maintain a C average to graduate.
Bad thing is you do not know what kind of grade your doctor made in school.
When I was in school we HAD to allow each other to practice on us. I refused a couple of times and took a bad grade b/c of it. Some people have no business being in the medical field and they sure are not getting their hands on any part of me or using me as a guinea pig to get a grade.

I let one girl draw blood from me and she ended up almost sticking the needle through my arm. She hit a nerve and I could not feel my arm for a couple of hours. 
There are just so many factors involved in plastic surgery and to me the dangers of it overwhelm the reasons to get it done.
Be happy with what GOD gave you is what I say!!


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## MY MIKADO (Apr 7, 2006)

I get so sick of parents saying this is the way kids are there is nothing you can do the laws are stacked againest you if you slap your child or try to disipline your child. I say the heck with that. I'm not raising my son to ended up in jail and if I let him get by with all sorts of stuff he will think he can get by with bigger and badder stuff. I'm a hard parent. I listen to my son and have really conversation with him but I don't cave into his every whim. I work in retail and I tell children to treat their parents better or to carry items and i remind them of their p's and q's. I get some drity looks and also some thanks from parents. I hate disrepect.

I'm glad your niece will not be getting this surgery. She is too young. I can't believe your sister was even considering it.


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## arun (Jul 20, 2008)

i saw a lot of messages saying parents are to be strict and firm n stern and so on..

saying "no" sternly puts the child in pressure which is not at all good for the growth of the child! remember this! but, saying "yes" to everything the child asks is even more hazardous! and as a matter of fact, it is something which can make a child, the most unhappy one as it grows on..

*The nature of Divine love is different from that of human attachment. It is timeless and constant. Make it your sole ideal. It is inherent in you n your child; all that needs to be done is to manifest it in the proper way. If there is sugar at the bottom of a tumbler of milk, you can make the milk sweet by stirring the sugar to dissolve it. Likewise, u n your child's heart is a tumbler at the bottom of which there is Divinity n sense of righteousness. Take the spoon of intellect; stir the heart by the process of spiritual effort. Then, the Divinity in the heart will permeate the entire body.*

so, what i'm trying to say is, your child is full of love (not attachment or urge) basically.. just guide him to be free from bad things and urges.. dont take a class making it mandatory for your child to listen to your lecture on good behaviour.. just during regular n informal conversation, indirectly and impliedly instill the feeling of goodness and righteousness and love and affection and make your child restrain itself from mere urges and cosmetic things. teach him something which is beyond things like that informally..

and see to it he knows what to ask of you and what not.. and also, see to it that, even if he is given full liberty, he refrains from conducting himself in bad things and cosmetic things. eventhough cosmetic things are not bad, it is not necessary. passion for cosmetic things invites sadness and dissatisfaction.. he will not be satisfied by his own self if he pays heed to cosmetic things.. you shouldn't tell him all these.. you should bring him up in such a way that his mind should think over all these by itself..

teach him sacrifice for all and the happiness he can get by that and teach him about divine love of god! and teaching principles of kindness and etc from bible or religious books is good!

and also coax him impliedly to learn yoga! it can have tremendous positive effects on a human mind! this is good! and also if possible, encourage him to learn martial arts like kung fu or karate or aikido or anything! this keeps his body fit n strong.. when his body n mind are fit and strong, when he is satisfied in what he has and what he is, when he is happy about what he is, when he is confident about what he can do, he will never resort himself to misconduct and indisciplined.

discipline should be forced by parents.. the feeling of discipline, promise and time sense should be instilled in a child's heart.

make him think that 5:00 AM is 5:00AM and 5:01 is not 5:00. to indulge in a particular activity at that particular time is excellent and it adds to the ability of a person. and let him take pleasure in disciplining himself.

and let me tell you onething! let your child always sense n feel that you are immensely proud of him/her. and you have placed your trust in him. even if you are not satisfied, dont show it.. use positive enforcements to make him mend himself.* he should have the urge of being the best that he can be! * instilling this sense in him is your responsibility. and love him,love him n love him a lot! love can change things.. be proud of him.. if u feel too good about him, it can set everything right.. that feeling touches his heart and conscience directly.. always praise him for good things he does.. but dont praise too much..

but everyone is responsible for his own acts and responsibility.. dont worry for the misconducts your child has indulged himself in.. worry wont do anything.. think of a way to correct him without spoiling things even further..


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## arun (Jul 20, 2008)

*about studies*

i have seen a psychologist raising his son! the way he raises his son is mind blowing! i'll come back to this later.

dont force your child to take to reading. for, the more you force him, the more he gets fed up of reading. make reading his habit.

now, i'll tell how the psychologist raises his son.. the psychologist skilfully creates a situation where the topic of science n things like that pops up.. and then, he asks his boy to bring his science book as it contains everything pertaining to it. both of them will discuss regarding that topic by referring to text book. doing this is a skill..

and he holds sessions with his child called, "discussion".. by skilfully motivating his child to take to reading, he never disappoints him.

and also, he makes his child feel that it is essential to read.. he has implanted the feeling of "must read in order to be the most knowledgeable" in his son!

he brainwashes his child skilfully..

so, my suggestion is, let your child enjoy a lot.. but also read.

make him understand what reading is! make him understand that

one should never read to score marks.. (marks is just a negligible thing that shows how well a child has studied) let not the study be marks oriented.

and also make him understand that one shouldn't work for money.

make him understand only slave expects something in return for his deeds n work.. but the master works expects nothing in return. if master expects something like money for his work, he'll work for money and is indeed a pitiful slave of the money.. let him work for working and let him study to get enlightened. let him enjoy studying.. let him feel that studying is dignity! let him feel that the pedigree of his family is unique n great n elite! and he is elite and the way he thinks is elite n the way he gets things is special.. n things like that.. if he really feels n believes in this, his self confidence will substantially increase and he'll, in reality be like this!

children often quit if they cant understand.. teach them to toil n toil n toil hard to get the answer, for it is the only way.. n it is the way of life! dont speak anything negative with the child.. house should be filled by positive feelings and energy n devotion n loyalty towards god! make him feel that whenever he conducts himself in deeds directed towards the welfare of others, god smiles at him and god gets happy with him.. n when he starts working for god's happiness or something as such, he'll naturally becomes selfless n becomes a greatest of greatest personality 

regards
-Arun


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## MetalGirl30 (Apr 15, 2008)

I raise my kids to be good, productive humans and to be able to take care of themselves when they get out on their own.
I discipline my kids when needed. I am strict when it comes to school,, sorry but that is just me. A'S, B'S..ARE GREAT. C's I will somewhat tolerate. I have 3 kids to put through college. I do not pressure them to go to college..that is their choice. I hope they do,,but they WILL graduate high school, even if I have to drag them kicking and screaming.
The law says that a parent has to provide 5 things to their children:
1. shelter
2. clothing
3. education
4. healthcare
5. food
Everything else you give your child is a privilege, not a requirement. And I truely believe that kids need to earn it, if they want it. Thats part of the problem now,,they have everything handed to them.
My kids are going to understand and learn the value of a dollar. 
I have a 14 year old son who is very immature and thinks everything is a joke. You cannot have a conversation with him without getting baby talk from him. He wants his driving permit next year...Yah right!!
Would you put a child that acts like that behind the wheel?
But see he believes that I HAVE TO give him his permit. 
Well he will see next year how quick we go to the D.M.V. if he still acts this way.
There is no problem with spoiling your child to a certain point. But to spoil your child till they become a utter brat..I disapprove of.


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## arun (Jul 20, 2008)

MetalGirl30 said:


> I raise my kids to be good, productive humans and to be able to take care of themselves when they get out on their own.
> I discipline my kids when needed. I am strict when it comes to school,, sorry but that is just me. A'S, B'S..ARE GREAT. C's I will somewhat tolerate. I have 3 kids to put through college. I do not pressure them to go to college..that is their choice. I hope they do,,but they WILL graduate high school, even if I have to drag them kicking and screaming.
> The law says that a parent has to provide 5 things to their children:
> 1. shelter
> ...


however, fine..


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## MetalGirl30 (Apr 15, 2008)

Arun,
I was not trying to be rude, what you posted was good. 

I just think that the youth of today have to be pushed almost to make something of their lives. I know of kids that are 19, 20 and still sit their rear ends on the couch and do nothing.
Ask them what they want to do with their lives and they say "nothing".
I had a hard life growing up as a child, a drug addict mom, a dad I barely seen, living in foster homes or girl's homes. Thank the lord my dad was able to take care of me and get me out of those places.
Sure I grew up for the first 10 years of my life on a military base..Fort Polk to be exact, but after my dad got discharged along with my mom..life became hell.
I do not want my kids to have to go through what I did. I want a life better than that for them.
I want them to be able to take care of themselves.
I do not want my daughter's to have to rely on any man for anything or my son to become some mooch living off me till he is 35.
I was just saying that kids now a days think that just b/c they want it, they automatically assume they are suppose to have it. We did to as children, but we did not go through the extremes to get it,, No was No, and we accepted that. Kids no a day cannot accept the word no and throw temper tantrums thinking that will get it for them.
Never in my life would I show out in a store.. hollering and screaming b/c I could not have something. It would be the end of me when I got home.
I know a boy that went to school with my son, who ended up being taken away from his family b/c he lied,,all b/c he could not have a xbox.
So he got his friends to beat him up and he went and said his parents did it.. to get back at them.
Well he did not expect what happened next... they removed him and his sister from the home till the investigation was complete and he admitted what he done.
He turned his poor sister's world upside down over a xbox and his mom and dad even spent a few days in jail.
It has become a world of greed and self-absorbtion, and I personally think it is sad.


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## NesOne (Feb 7, 2008)

MetalGirl30 said:


> I raise my kids to be good, productive humans and to be able to take care of themselves when they get out on their own.
> I discipline my kids when needed. I am strict when it comes to school,, sorry but that is just me. A'S, B'S..ARE GREAT. C's I will somewhat tolerate. I have 3 kids to put through college. I do not pressure them to go to college..that is their choice. I hope they do,,but they WILL graduate high school, even if I have to drag them kicking and screaming.
> The law says that a parent has to provide 5 things to their children:
> 1. shelter
> ...


The way technology is advancing, "education" on your list should have a submenu with "computer" listed.

You and I are on the same page though :cheers:


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## sw_df27 (Feb 16, 2007)

I have to agree too I will be a strict parent when I become one........... I don't believe in spoiling children I was brought up where if we smarted off to any grown up we got popped in the mouth and hell we even had to go pick our own switch sometimes lol we even got spanked in public so we knew better We had the fear of "god" as some people call it put in us at a young age and I think I am a better person for it............... I'm only 22 and most people my age I can't stand to be around very immature a spoiled............... I think alot of parents try to be friends with their children first instead of being the parent that is a mistake I will not make I don't care how much they "hate" me at the moment they will get over it.......................


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## MetalGirl30 (Apr 15, 2008)

sw_df27 said:


> I have to agree too I will be a strict parent when I become one........... I don't believe in spoiling children I was brought up where if we smarted off to any grown up we got popped in the mouth and hell we even had to go pick our own switch sometimes lol we even got spanked in public so we knew better We had the fear of "god" as some people call it put in us at a young age and I think I am a better person for it............... I'm only 22 and most people my age I can't stand to be around very immature a spoiled............... I think alot of parents try to be friends with their children first instead of being the parent that is a mistake I will not make I don't care how much they "hate" me at the moment they will get over it.......................


Exactly!!!
I am a parent first and foremost!!
My kids can stomp and pout and whine and they will still get the same answer...NO!!!
My kids get alot...but they have chores to do, grades to keep up, along with other things. Those things have to be done and grades have to be maintained in order to get what they want. Other than that they have Christmas and birthdays..lol!!!
My son was in football last year ,but I jerked him out b/c he thought that just b/c he was on the football team it meant that he did not have to do classwork or homework and that he could do whatever he wanted to in school. I sat him down and gave him a time limit to pull his grades up and to do what he was told in school. Well he thought I was joking and kept on doing his thing. I talked to the coach and the coach agreed with me and told my son he was no longer on the team. I gave my son a chance and he did not take it..his fault..not mine.
He knows this year what he has to do to stay on the team and he will be a starter this year. He learned very quick that I meant business. The coach hated to do it b/c he was one of the best tacklers he has had. He sacked the QB in almost every game he played, sometimes more than once.

I love my kids and would do anything for them, but I will not let them run all over me like alot of parents do now a days!!

Yah, my mom favorite thing was to backhand us for smarting off,, my teeth went through my bottom lip one time she hit me so hard.


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## sw_df27 (Feb 16, 2007)

yeah i've had that happen before too lol


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## arun (Jul 20, 2008)

so, your son's grade improved now?


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## Taz (May 3, 2008)

my old man used to tell me to want in one hand and  in the other, and see which one fills faster. I used to hate my old man. I thanked him sometime back. If it weren't for him I would be somewhere besides here on the pc probably dead or in prison.


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## MetalGirl30 (Apr 15, 2008)

arun said:


> so, your son's grade improved now?


They did for awhile...till he got a girlfriend!!!! But he did pass...which I was very proud of. My son is bi-polar and has been for a very long time. He was born 2 months early and had oxygen deprivation(thanks to the doctors) that messed up his wiring in his emotional part of his brain. They let him for 12 hours, without hardly any air, his heart rate would jump to 220 and then shoot down to 10,,they let this go on for 12 hours before they did an emergency c-section. 
He is very smart, and has a high I.Q. (which is not uncommon for bi-polar children) he just does not apply himself in studies. He is to impulsive and gets bored real easy at school, but they will not up him a grade b/c of his behavior. He is really immature for his age.
But I love him, no matter what his problems are. He knows that he can count on me. I just look at him as God's special gift to me. He would not of given him to me if he thought I could not handle it. It has been a long and bumpy rollercoaster ride and more bumps to come, but hey, I am up for it.
He wants to be a marine biologist when he gets older and I am all for helping him to reach his goals. As I am with all my kids.
They know that I will support them in whatever they want to do in life.


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