# Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions



## Marty (Dec 10, 2005)

Here's ten examples to start with... SQ = Stupid Question. SA = Snappy Answer.

SQ: "Do you wanna sell him/Can I have him?" 
SA: "Sure, I'll trade him for a member of your family... It has to be someone you actually LOVE though"

SQ: "Do you wanna breed him?"
SA: "Hell yeah! Go to the animal shelter and adopt a spayed female Pit Bull, and we'll let 'em go at it. When you go to the shelter, make sure you specify a SPAYED female Pit Bull, and let them know you want to breed her with a NEUTERED male Pit Bull"

SQ: "How are you gonna feel when that dog mauls your kids?" 
SA: "He already did, the wife too! At least it wasn't the other way around. I'd be devastated if my family mauled my dog, which in all seriousness, happens a LOT more often than the dog mauling the family."

SQ: "Man, don't you know those dogs are bad news?" 
SA: "Yeah, but so was Hurricane Katrina. That storm killed almost as many people in 2005 as this little guy did that same year. Now I call him 'Hurricane Sam'!"

SQ: "Do you fight him?" 
SA: "Nah, but sometimes we argue, and he always puts me in my place"

SQ: "You're an a-hole for owning such a vicious dog" 
SA: (kneeling down and receiving hug and enthusiastic tongue facial from said 'vicious dog') "Yeah, that's right boy! WHOZ an a-hole? WHOZ an a-hole? MEEEEEEEE!" (looks at accuser) "Nah, we both know who the A-hole is here, don't we boy?"

SQ: "You must be compensating for having a small penis to own a dog like that!" 
SA: "Well, my heart told me this guy needed a good home, so, I guess you're right, my penis is smaller than my heart... still bigger than your brain though."

SQ: "That's one of them KILLER dogs, ain't it?" 
SA: (immitating Spricoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High) "He suuuuuuure is, duuuuuuude! Yeah, he's totally bitchen!"

SQ: "Is that a Pitt? Don't you read the news?"
SA: "Sure, I read the news. As far as I know, my dog is no relation to the Pitt family. I read that Brad's thinking about retiring from show business though. Didn't see that coming!"

SQ: "You know those dogs have locking jaws, right?"
SA: "Of course I do! I keep the key with me so I can UN-lock them though. I mean, I'm not STUPID!"

Post your own, or others you've heard.


----------



## bluefamily (Aug 8, 2007)

I always need a snappy answer! Thanks...


----------



## hell no they wont go (Oct 4, 2007)

does your dog bite?
...no...do you?

what type of pitbull is that?
...a pitbull...lol i do say that to people sometimes but sometimes i atually tell them he is an american pitbull terrier and there is only one kind.


----------



## MY MIKADO (Apr 7, 2006)

Good come backs Marty. 

I'm lucky I have only a few people tell I'm nuts to have Vendetta. She is well liked by all that meet her. Mikado was too.


----------



## Hirihat (May 5, 2009)

SQ: You don't have kids with all those vicious dogs, do you????
SA: NO WAY!!! Kids could hurt them!!! 

SQ: Do your dogs bite? 
SA: Only when they chew their food

SQ: You gonna breed that blue one???? They're rare/hard to find, etc....
SA: Really??? This one was thrown out of a moving vehicle. He was pretty easy to find....

SQ: Are they mean?
SA: Only on the thrid Sat of each month

SQ: Why aren't they fighting? (When we have several in public with us)
SA: They haven't heard the start bell yet. Did you see the ring girl?


----------



## BLUE PIT BULL MAN (May 22, 2009)

SQ: What kind of dog is that?
SA: The kind that hog the bed and fart in the car.


----------



## Hirihat (May 5, 2009)

BLUE PIT BULL MAN said:


> SQ: What kind of dog is that?
> SA: The kind that hog the bed and fart in the car.


This made me laugh out loud for real! LOL


----------



## hell no they wont go (Oct 4, 2007)

BLUE PIT BULL MAN said:


> SQ: What kind of dog is that?
> SA: The kind that hog the bed and fart in the car.


LOL great.

what i get from people a lot with onyx

them:Is he a blue nose!?

me:yeah that's why its all black along with his fur.

or

them: thats a nice dog who bred him i think i want to get a puppy from them!!
me: the dog pund...i am sure they have plenty of pups to give to good homes.

lol i know the pound didnt breed him but that is where he was born.
me


----------



## StaffyDaddy (Mar 28, 2009)

Marty said:


> Here's ten examples to start with... SQ = Stupid Question. SA = Snappy Answer.
> 
> *SQ: "How are you gonna feel when that dog mauls your kids?"
> SA: "He already did, the wife too! At least it wasn't the other way around. I'd be devastated if my family mauled my dog, which in all seriousness, happens a LOT more often than the dog mauling the family."
> ...


I *LOVE* fast times at ridgemont high!


----------

