# My son is having a hard time with the passing of Spike



## wild_deuce03 (Aug 14, 2010)

Since Spike passed on 23 Aug, it has obviously been a tough time for us. It took a little while for it to sink in with my 7 year old son, Sebastian. Yesterday he asked if he could brush the dogs. Of course we said yes. So he brushes Cleveland and Smudge. Then he calls out, "Sky, Spike. Come here."  My wife wasn't sure if she heard him right and then he comes around the corner. She heard him right.  He says to my wife, "I called for Spike and then remembered she's not here anymore." He freaking lost it. Man, this freaking sucks!!!


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## aprilortego (Aug 23, 2010)

Awww I am sorry to hear that. I know it is a very hard thing to go through as an adult and most people forget about what there children are going through. Sit down and talk to him, find all the pictures of Spike and make a scrap-book or photo album for your son so any time he is feeling lonely or missing Spike he can open it up and remember the happy moments that your family shared with Spike. I lost a beloved pet in September of 2008 and I am not ashamed to admit that I still break down and cry like a baby for him. Only pet lovers can understand that a pet is not just a dog or cat they are your child, brother or sister. It is just like losing a family member and it will take time for him to grieve in his own way. Sit down and listen to him and let him get it out, let him cry, let him grieve, remind him of the good times they shared together. I am really sorry about the death of your family member and my condolences are sent out to your house from mine.



From one parent to another, I know it is heart-breaking to see your child suffer and go through this. Just give him time, it will not get easier you just learn to live with it.


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## Aireal (Jul 2, 2010)

I'm sorry i know it's tough, can't really tell you how to help him cope but i feel for you all =*(


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## MY MIKADO (Apr 7, 2006)

Death is hard but it is a fact of life. You cannot shield your son from it. I have a niece that wouldn't allow her children to visit their dying grandmother cause children should not have to see death..... Okay.

When my son was 18mos we took in a basset hound that been left outside the grocery store. It was -70 withthe windchill that day she had been left to die by some uncaring person. I took her home named her Taliaha( heavens dew) well Andreas loved her the would run the lenght of the trailer they shared toast they slept together from the first night. This was in Jan. In march I noticed blood in her urine. I took her to the vet we did some tests but when he was feeling around her bladder he felt something else. We did an x-ray she had a large tumor. She was old the vet figured over 8 by her teeth. I took her home Andreas and Taliaha continted to have fun then on April 20th my sons birthday I woke up to Taliaha laying on the floor unable to move she was cold to the touch her eyes galzing over. I called and took Andreas to my moms but he knew he was crying no come back with Taliaha. That was the last time my son ate toast for almost a year. He did want any paer chains either something him and taliaha played with all the time.

When you love you need to accept death as apart of that equation.


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## wild_deuce03 (Aug 14, 2010)

Thanks, all. It just blows, plain and simple. The scrapbook is a good idea.


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## ThaLadyPit (Oct 12, 2008)

Might I suggest that you involve Sebastian in the making of the scrap book!? Let him pick out the pictures he'd like to have in the scrap book, let him do the pasting, and you and your wife help with cutting and stamping, etc. I did this with my girls for their own scrapbooks. They were allowed to pick out their favorite pictures of themselves with our beloved Debo when he passed, and since I had burried him instead of cremating him, my daughters were allowed to visit his burial site. 

My oldest daughter, now age 7, was 4 y/o at the time, and she picked some wild flowers along the way, walking thru the backyard, and layed them down on the dirt that covered him, and she says, "I love you Debo, and I'll miss you. You were a good boy and always took care of Mommy, me and Sister." That broke my heart, to know that my child was so young, but understood, and had such kind words to say. I knelt down next to her, my knees in the dirt, and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. She put her hand on my shoulder and told me it would be ok, because Debo was still around, even though we couldn't see him! Still gives me chills thinking about it.

She asks me all the time if I can feel Debo near me. She says sometimes she can feel his presence, even though she can't see him. I tell her yes, that he's with me everyday, and that when she feels his presence near her, she should talk to him, because he's there looking out for her and keeping her company. That was the first time she experienced death, and the loss of a loved one, but for some reason, she understood it. I'm not sure if it's the way I explained it to her, or if she's just really that smart (I'd like to think the latter), but either way, it works out.


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## teasha (Aug 3, 2010)

When my son was 7ish we had a cat that was about 1 yr old. She was Micahs cat. She got really sick and we took her to the vet and did what we could but had to PTS. The necropsy said FIP which what was suspected. My son blamed me to no end, he still does. He felt I should find a cure and 'fix' her. He put up a sort of block to the other cats and fosters I brought home. Now 4 years later he formed an attachment to one so we kept her.

Not that this would happen to you, but everyone deals with pain and death in their own way. I bought a stone that had LOVE inscribed on it and added Miss's photo on it. That helped some. So maybe the scrapbook idea, maybe a grave marker too? Hope all goes well.


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## wild_deuce03 (Aug 14, 2010)

ThaLadyPit said:


> Might I suggest that you involve Sebastian in the making of the scrap book!? Let him pick out the pictures he'd like to have in the scrap book, let him do the pasting, and you and your wife help with cutting and stamping, etc. I did this with my girls for their own scrapbooks. They were allowed to pick out their favorite pictures of themselves with our beloved Debo when he passed, and since I had burried him instead of cremating him, my daughters were allowed to visit his burial site.
> 
> My oldest daughter, now age 7, was 4 y/o at the time, and she picked some wild flowers along the way, walking thru the backyard, and layed them down on the dirt that covered him, and she says, "I love you Debo, and I'll miss you. You were a good boy and always took care of Mommy, me and Sister." That broke my heart, to know that my child was so young, but understood, and had such kind words to say. I knelt down next to her, my knees in the dirt, and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. She put her hand on my shoulder and told me it would be ok, because Debo was still around, even though we couldn't see him! Still gives me chills thinking about it.
> 
> She asks me all the time if I can feel Debo near me. She says sometimes she can feel his presence, even though she can't see him. I tell her yes, that he's with me everyday, and that when she feels his presence near her, she should talk to him, because he's there looking out for her and keeping her company. That was the first time she experienced death, and the loss of a loved one, but for some reason, she understood it. I'm not sure if it's the way I explained it to her, or if she's just really that smart (I'd like to think the latter), but either way, it works out.


Dang, stop going and getting me all misty eyed!!! My son told my wife the other day that even though he missed Spike, he was glad she wasn't in pain anymore and could run like she used to (bad hips). 

Having him help with the scrapbook is a great idea. Thanks!


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## American_Pit13 (Apr 23, 2007)

It is very hard on kids. Fish isn't quite understanding that we are not getting Ace back and she had quickly bonded to him. Yet he didn't pass away. Luckily she is not mad at me but at the person that told her she would bring him back..

It hard on us adults even thou we understand thats just how life works. For a child even if they have been told of how it goes they still can't fathom the reality of it. Luckily he has the other dogs still and was not left alone.


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## jayandlacy (Sep 21, 2009)

You could also have him help make a shadow box for his room, or whatever room and use Spikes collar if you still have it. When we had to put our Chico down last year, we kept his collar and his ashes, but I made Jay a shadow box with scapbooking paper,(Jay had Chico when I met him, so he was his dog first) a huge pic of Chic, a few little ones, and his collar. I also put " MY Dog Chico" with little paw prints...I was going to use his death certificate that came with his ashes but there wasn't enough room so I have that hanging next to his ashes.

We enjoy having the shadow box dedicated to Chico hanging up where we see it multiple times daily. Again sorry for your loss, it does really suck.


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