# My wife left me!



## Oldcutm (Sep 9, 2008)

Hey guys im in a hard spot right know and was hoping if some one could help me out? My wife Jen has decided to leave me and has moved in with her moms house but spends all her day and night at a friends house brit! We have two lil boys that are fixing to be 4 and 2 years old. We've been together for 6 almost 7 years. I'm having a hard time wondering why she left me and would choose not to work things out? I try talking to her but she wont look at me eye to eye! Neither of us did anything wrong to each other. I try to talk calm and cool with her but for some reason she hates me and blames me for anything that goes wrong in her life. Instead of getting better it gets worth every day. I have my two lil boys with me who cry and miss there mom. We taking turns with the kids but she started to work and seems like she wont really have time to be with them. We started to have problem when her friend brit came into our lives. Brit has a boyfriend but they like to party and drink a lot. So my wife was always trying to go out with her and start stupid lil fights to go over her house! I think that she might be filling a divorce. I love these woman more then anything in this world. I'd do anything for her and she knows this but i cant understand why she puts a wedge or hate between us? I have been busting my butt to support her and the kids. I have had a lot on my plate and never back down or left her or the kids. But every time things got rough it seems that she would just start a fight and run. Im finding hard each day to wake up and continue but i know i have to for my boys! Im just tired of crying each day over her and missing her! Plus it doesn't help when my boys do the same. I would appreciate any advice or comments on the salutation. Every where i go im reminded of her and the things we use to do! I cant even go to my friends house because thats where we would be together! So now me and the kids sit alone in our apartment being miserable with out her! I cant believe after 7 years in just one night she change like a flip of a switch and treats me like scum of the earth.


----------



## BLUE PIT BULL MAN (May 22, 2009)

I typed for about 10 minutes and realized how foolish i was beeing. all i can say is good luck and stay strong brother. those kids need you. just keep being the man and the dad you need to be. how ever things work thats how they were ment to be. I will pray for and your family.


----------



## Oldcutm (Sep 9, 2008)

Thank you!!


----------



## Krissy (Jul 15, 2009)

There is always two sides to a story.

Let me give my 2 cents from what I read. Your wife is spending a lot of time at her friends house Brit. Seems to me she simply just wants to live a little and experience now what she should have before she got married. 7 years is a long time, and I feel for you.. it is a very tough situation esp when children are involved. Things like this usually happens when people get married too young or when they simply were just not ready to get married.

What I can tell you is this, if she is treating you like scum then time to grab your balls and stand up for yourself. Women can be the biggest penis wrinkles, and usually get away with treating guys like dirt when they know they can get away with it. Don't let her take you for granted, especially when you know you did what you had to for your family and she still left you.

Time to STOP feeling sorry for yourself, Don't make the situation suck even more than what it does. Take your kids out to the park.. it's summer!! Time to stop being too nice, serious s***. "Everywhere I got things remind me of her".... seriously..? 
Please dont stay in your apartment and weep over someone who is out having the time of their life without you.

I am not trying to be mean, and please do not get offended by anything I am telling you. If anything I am trying to keep it real.. I can go on and on.. but I'll keep it short.


----------



## chic4pits (Aug 25, 2008)

dude, sorry to hear you going thru that, it sucks...big hairy ones...at that..eww..
but i gotta say it doesn't sound like she is thinking clear, or either she has other plans that dont include you and your kids, idk, it's hard to judge a situation unless you can see it. ya know? 
but i will tell you that your lil' boys need you now more than ever, and you have to be there and be strong for those kids, if you think it is hard on you, put yourself in there place and mutlipy what you feel times 10. you have to show those boys that you are strong and they will be ok. kids pic up on alot..and i mean ALOT. now days they dont get the credit they deservse ....alot of times my kids will come to me with questions, and i'm like 'what the ...' cuz it came from the blue, yet it would be about something the hubbie and i was trying to keep on the DL and they figured it out. your babies are a gift, and they are the best things that will ever happen to you. (at lest i know mine are-as i'm sure most 'rents feel the same) ...be there for them...if she has washed her hands with other plans...as hard as it seems...you do the same. you have the people who matter the most with you, and they are all you need. the only other advice i can give you is pray, i dont know if you are religious, doesn't even matter what religion. just pray. only goodness can come from that. Good luck with everything, and were all here anytime ya need to just talk!


----------



## StaffyDaddy (Mar 28, 2009)

I agree with keeping your relationship with God on full throttle. If you believe in Him, then he has obviously led you to where youre at now.. And just because someone chooses to go their own route, doesn't mean life doesn't go on. I'm not bashing anyone but sometimes our better halves are our worst halves and we don't see it. Just love God and love yourself and keep your head up and everything will turn out. Youve got some kiddos, so be a father to them, wether or not their mother wants to be with you or not. At this point, I would see this as an oppurtunity to live what you haven't lived and see what you have yet to see.


----------



## chic4pits (Aug 25, 2008)

StaffyDaddy said:


> I agree with keeping your relationship with God on full throttle. If you believe in Him, then he has obviously led you to where youre at now.. And just because someone chooses to go their own route, doesn't mean life doesn't go on. I'm not bashing anyone but sometimes our better halves are our worst halves and we don't see it. Just love God and love yourself and keep your head up and everything will turn out. Youve got some kiddos, so be a father to them, wether or not their mother wants to be with you or not. At this point, I would see this as an oppurtunity to live what you haven't lived and see what you have yet to see.


good point about 'live what....' ....:goodpost:


----------



## FloorCandy (Feb 19, 2009)

I agree with what was said before, that she is a girl who married too young, and now wants to go out and have fun. She sees her new friend as someone who has the life she wants, so she has made changes to make that happen. Don't let her bad choices harm you or the kids. Just be a good dad, throw yourself into the kids, and they will benefit from it. I would just ignore her behavior. The more you talk to her, and try to figure it out with her, the more she knows she has you back if she wants you. If I were you I would just limit the conversations with her to being about the kids and schedule. Don't beg her to come back or talk to you, just communicate in regards to the kids, and when she will pick them up or watch them or whatever. If you remove her safety net she will either cut ties because thats what she planned all along, and just kept you around as a backup, or she will come to her senses and try to work things out. Taking a break from being her whipping boy will give you time to adjust your life and look at what she did from a distance. 

The kids will always be your kids, so find strength and comfort in your family. If she wants to run out, then so be it, don't let those kids suffer for it. It is time that you looked at things from a different perspective. A woman who abandons her children does not deserve to be a cherished wife. She brought so much pain to those little kids. Childrens lives revolve around mom and dad, she just removed 50% of what they know and depend on. Now it is up to you to be the good example and role model for them, there's no time to worry about a her bad choices, you have a full time job with those poor kids. When they ask when mommy is coming home, just tell them you don't know, and she might not come home, but you will always be there for them, and then take them for a walk, or to the park. Take stale bread to a nearby pond and feed the birds, just do something to strengthen the bond between all of you, and bring good to a bad situation. 

If you are a religious person, do not pray to get her back, pray to have the strength to move on and be there for your children. God gave us free will, so he cannot bring her back or change her mind, and nothing you do can will do that either, so all you can do is pick yourself up, and move on. You don't need to shut her out, if she wants to see the kids, don't be bitter, but don't let her use you either. Don't wake up hoping she will return, and missing her, wake up looking forward to the amazing things your children will do. She may think that she is having the time of her life, but she traded her family for that, and the days that passed are days she can never get back, but you will have that time with your kids stored in your heart and memory forever. One day your kids will stop saying remember when mom...and they will start saying remember when dad took us here, or watched that movie with us, or helped with that difficult homework assignment. When you children go to their first dance, have their first crush, beat that hard stage on their favorite video game, get straight A's, play in the playoffs for their little league etc, all of those moments when your heart will swell with pride, and you will have nothing on your mind but how wonderful your kids are, she will miss them, and her life will be empty, and yours will be full.


----------



## Nizmo (Jan 15, 2009)

im sorry to hear about your misfortune. i wish you and your boys the best. things have a way of working out. good luck, try and be strong for your boys.


----------



## Oldcutm (Sep 9, 2008)

I like to thank every one for the comments! I know i have to move on but it sucks really bad! What really sucks about it even if i wanted to move on and talk to some one new every girl that walks by me doesn't compare to my wife. As for the kids we go swimming and go to the park to play but i can see my oldest son looking at other fathers and mothers playing with them and he only has me. That breaks my heart! Im strong person. I know i'll keep going but i just need to let out what i have inside. I been going to church but i cry through the whole deal because everything they speak off some how reaches me or has something to do with me. Thanks a lot guys for your help!!!


----------



## bluefamily (Aug 8, 2007)

I am sorry for your heart ache. I know it hurts but remember the example you are setting for your kids. Also For all you know this woman could be the "practice run" for what is better yet to come. It is hard to see through the tears and the vaccuum of loss and regret, but don't forget how uplifting and healing a clean house can be when you are done. Hang in there and be strong.


----------

