# A little humour for the day



## OldFortKennels (Mar 10, 2006)

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her
to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in
and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to
her from the store.
Dear Mrs. Fenton:

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban
both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our
video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are
listed below:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and
watched what happened.

5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him him, he begins to cry
and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
and picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the
clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes
the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ....

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"


----------



## pantera2006 (Feb 25, 2006)

LMAO!!!!!! That so sounds like something my dad does!!!!!1 That is awesome!!!! Hahahahahahahahahaah..... Im going to do a few of those!!!!!:hammer:


----------



## smokey_joe (Oct 14, 2005)

Those are good.


----------



## redog (Oct 14, 2005)

hey fort, are you sure that wasnt my dad?


----------



## MY MIKADO (Apr 7, 2006)

That is great wouldn't it be un to do some of those!!! I work in retail and when the alarm goes off I have to stop myself form yelling "Stop Theif" I would love to see the faces of some of these people.LOL


----------



## TashasLegend (Jun 7, 2006)

Lmao! :rofl:


----------



## pantera2006 (Feb 25, 2006)

I'll do it!!! Dare me..... come on!!! hahaha
:hammer:


----------



## Midwest Bully (May 10, 2006)

*I DARE YOU!!...*. rofl

I gotta see this..lol


----------



## pantera2006 (Feb 25, 2006)

hahahahaha Im in!!!!!! In walmart i go.....:angeldevi


----------



## Judy (Dec 12, 2005)

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

:rofl: That one is funny!


----------



## pantera2006 (Feb 25, 2006)

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the
clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Those are my faves, Hell i love em all, The 11th one, i do that all the time, me and my BF... We are crazy!!! Im going to copy it....
OMG!!! The funniest thing!!! We were standing in a mcdonalds line and I turned and looked at her and in a loud enought voice for people to hear, I asked if she had found out what the bumps on her......you -know-whaty where, lol and she went along with it, we do it all the time in long line ups...
but shes like, "the doc thinks that they are a form of herpes, but hes not sure" I go, "awwww man... did you get that cream that stops the itch" She goes" Yeah, but it dosent stop the oozzing" LMAO!!!!!! And we go on, but it gets crude!!!
but you would be surprized of the people that just dont mind their business!!! One girl looked plae another looked like she wanted to puke.....
Awwwww its great!!!:thumbsup:


----------

