# Ever feel like its never enough



## smith family kennels (Jan 10, 2009)

I will have to say I make a better dog owner than a parent. My 6 year old has sever ADHD and I swear I get a note from his teacher twice a week. This house is so frustrated with school. That it takes 2 hours to do homework if it gets done then. My son and I sit at the table crying trying to get homework done. He's crying cause he hates homework and hates school and refuses to do it and I'm crying cause my encourgement doesn't seem to help and I just want him to do good. His grades aren't getting any better and the more I push the worse they get. His teacher stays on my ass and makes me feel like shit. We have a hard time getting to school on time cause he doesn't want to go and I suffer from sleep depervastion cause my child only sleeps 3 to 6 hours a day and as been that way since he was 3 years old. He sees a psych. on a regular bases. We are trying different meds. He is in after school tutoring a couple days a week and I still feel like a failure. What the hell does this woman expect me too do? My happy child has turned into a child that hates to learn new things and hates to go to school. He is now a very depressed child and doesn't even want to play baseball this year.


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## BedlamBully (Jun 6, 2008)

I'm having flashbacks here.
I had HUGE problems in school with just being bored honestly...not trying to make it sound like I am some sort of genius but it was boring and i HATED my homework. So of course I had ADHD (which only exists in the United States btw hmmm) Lots and LOTS of meidcation, some of it made me a zombie (stay away from Silert) some of it made me even more unstable.

Honestly my suggestion would be look into a Charter school if they have them in your area. i WISH they had them when I was in school, they incorperate a lot of different activities into the classes and the sizes are smaller, there's more one on one learning and the teaching is a little different .

Also I found Welbutrin is the best medication, its doesn't necissarily make you 'Happy' but it evens your mood out. Side affects though are sleeplessness (sp) and it can cause seizures.


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## smith family kennels (Jan 10, 2009)

Yeah I had it too when I was little but schools were alot different then they weren't pushing them as hard as they are now.

She wants a meeting with me again this week so she can make me feel like crap again cause he won't do his homework and won't get to school on time. 

He saids he likes her but still doesn't want to go to school. He is excellent at math but refuses to learn to read and hates anything to do with english and spelling. Go figure.


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## LiiL_L0cz_Red_N0se (Sep 15, 2008)

u just gotta keep being patient. when i ran my after school program i had some adhd kids.. and u just have to be pateint and make it as fun as u can... is he in special ed classes or main stream?? it makes BIG difference. also, is he on some kinda of downer med? to slow is brain down a little so he can focus? set goals!

if he LOOOVVEEESS video games tell him he can get a new game, or play longer or somethin if he does his hw. u have to sit down and communicate with him in very short time spans until he gets it... right now is teh toughest age to go thru when it comes to these disporders. but come 4/5th grade i promies wit will get better. 

also, he is a boy. boys alrayd have extremely short attention spans at that age. the only way to make it work is to make it fun. if he is good in math then u have somethine to look forward to. at least he has somethine he does well. i had a student who refused to do ANYTHING, until my program came along. each year i had a project child, and he was my primary level project child. i made it as fun as possible with different activites and new things. just sittin at the table every day fightin to get thru hw wont get thru to him...


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## MADBood (May 31, 2008)

I feel your pain...we have been having problems with our 10 year old daughter as well. She bucks on everything and doesn't show any interest in school anymore. She says she's bored....that's why she was bring home slack ass grades, I suppose. As far as ADHD goes...hell they just want to throw pills at everything and magically make it disappear. They make up all these crazy names for things...like restless leg syndrome( a personal favorite of mine)and have a drug for that...lol. 

I'm no psychologist nor am I an expert in these matters so I can't really give any useful advice. Our daughter even saw a shrink and she just told them what she thought they wanted to hear. She is a master of manipulation. Sometimes I just think it's good old fashioned laziness. There could be a "friend" or enemy that makes it hard for him to focus at school?...I don't know. Ours worry too much what her peers may think...not an inherited trait...lol. 

A good talking can sometimes help. You have to get inside thier heads and get to the root of the matter...something a "pill" can't do. Like I said though...Im no expert as I have 10year old problems myself....BOYS. I'll just let Deebo take care of that problem....lol.


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## smith family kennels (Jan 10, 2009)

I am trying so hard to be patient. They knew he had adhd when he was in kindergarden Ive know it since he was 3. I have 4 psych. exams proving it and they still haven't put him in special ed. He struggled through kindergarden and now he is failing 1st grade and all they have done is put him in a special reading program an hour a day. They have him on adderall now. which he was on focalin and his body got use to that so it doesnt work anymore. He goes back in two weeks to see how he is adjusting. 

I have tried the award and praise thing he doesn't care if he gets anything for it or not. 

I try to make it fun. I have noticed that if he is figding or playing with something besides looking at his work he can answer every question correctly but as soon as you stick a pencil in his hand and make him look at this paper its like his brain quits working. I wrote down the answers he gave me and then his teacher got upset because he didn't write down the answers he gave that I did. I don't know what to do anymore. I mean I am really at the breaking point. I can't even stop getting teary eyed over it. She has got me so upset. I got his math test back today and it was a 62 when I asked him all the questions he got wrong he gave me the right answer. When I had him try and do is math homework he couldn't answer correctly when I took the paper away and called them out to him he never checked up he answered them all right same with his reading and spelling homework. 

I have been up to his school several times this year to ask them if there was something they can do and they say hes already in a reading class. Make me want to slap them. Is it that hard to see that he is struggling and is very frustrated and doesn't want to try anymore cause he thinks every answer he gives is going to be wrong.


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## smith family kennels (Jan 10, 2009)

My son and I have no trouble communicating he tells me what he feels. He saids momma I really hate school its hard and I don't get it. Its so boring sitting there and it takes so long. When I ask him about homework he saids. Momma its so boring it takes so long. I hate doing it. Its hard. I tell him I know but sometimes in life we have to do things we don't want to do and somethings are really hard. He saids why. I said thats just the why life is. He saids I don't know how to do it and its hard. I don't like it and I don't want to do it. Why does it take so long why is it so hard.


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## MADBood (May 31, 2008)

That is strange. Sounds like writing diverts his attention from thinking. He definately doesn't have a learning disabilty...just writing issues...hmmm.


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## jbh38 (Apr 26, 2008)

My son has ADHD also, can drive you crazy. He goes through the hating school and has a hard time fitting in sometimes, he is more of a geek than a jock and now that he is in middle school, he is finding it is really hard to be different.

We have been through the medicine too, he now takes 3 different ones each day, one for the ADHD, one for depression, and one for behavior, and for the most part they work, but somedays are still rough. We did the counseling for a while too, but it didn't really help.

It's hard, but you get through it. I found that a tutoring or learning session away from school helps, same thing, but it is just a different environment and he is more willing to listen to someone that isn't a teacher or me, another was that he is in 4-H now and he loves it.


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## jbh38 (Apr 26, 2008)

Also a lot of times there is a learning disability that goes along with the ADHD. They are smart, too smart for their own good, but just they way they learn can be different than the normal methods. 
My step daughter went through a program at the University of Florida that taught her how to study and process the information in a way that she could understand and apply and you wouldn't believe the difference in her grades, almost immediately. It was just hard for her because the teachers have so many children to teach that they have to go by the majority and how they learn and sometimes there is one that just needs a different touch to get everything down as it should be. It taught her how to take their way of teaching and apply it to herself and process it in a different way that was more beneficial to her. 
Also, like it or not, if the ADHD is documented by doctors, your child is a special needs child. I know that may not be how you want him referred to, but it is true and the school has to provide extra resources for him if needed, even if it is the smallest thing as extra time to complete a test. They put my son in a class that was for children which some had an extra gift for one subject and the others might be lacking in one subject. The idea was that the children help each other learn and it was great. He is way above his grade in Science and Math, but lacking in English and writing, he doesn't like it, but the way they had him grouped was great, kids just have a better way of explaining things to each other than we do.

Most importantly, don't let the teacher and the school bully you, don't let them get you upset, they are they to help and if you ask, and explain the situation and have documentation, they have to help and accomodate his needs. The school should be there to work with you, not against you, make as much noise as you can until you get them to listen. It's your son's future, don't let them bully you and get you upset, bully back.

Maybe it is time to tell the school if they are not willing to work with you and your child's needs, it is time to take it to a higher level. Tell them you will be to the superintendent if needed to get results and if that doesn't work, you will go to the school board or the state board, tell them you will go as far as it takes for someone to listen to you. Your son deserves a quality education just like every other child in the school does. Talk to other parents, make noise, what ever you have to do to get someone to pay attention.


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## dan'sgrizz (Oct 22, 2008)

I had ADHD growing up. I got ridelin and dexidrin shoved down my throat for it I found peace writing cuz my mind would wander on paper. Don't push grades too hard. Kids with learning disorders ate usually smarter than average just not good at school. I never did homework towards the end of education I'd learn to make deals with my teachers more tests forless homework. I got a 1320 on the sat and a 32 on the act didn't take the sat2's cuz I wasn't attending a UC. Grades are a brand that someone gives you just an opinion. They can be bought or forged or frauded but a good education... Priceless and irreplaceable. I had those same late nights at the dinner table struggling through math that didn't make sense and still doesn't. My heart goes out to your family I'll be praying for you and yours. I hope your boy learns to cope ADHD is hard to deal with for others but it's hard to take meds that change your behavior aswell. I "grew out" of it but I'm still an out spoken hyper active asshole that doesn't pay attention LOL people just learned to live.


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## wheezie (Aug 4, 2006)

i hav epretty bad adhd... well thats what the dr calls it... i call it just not paying attention. i stoped taking medication a long ime ago, instead of masking who i really am with drugs i would ather just be me and take the extra steps to concentrating


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## jbh38 (Apr 26, 2008)

smith family kennels said:


> I have tried the award and praise thing he doesn't care if he gets anything for it or not.


Rewards and punishment usually aren't going to work. I was told by a couple of different doctors that there is something in the brain of a child with true ADHD that is like a link missing, for lack of a better description. They don't process the equation of behavior = punishment or reward. There is just something that happens that they can tell you if I do this I will get punished, but in their brain, it just doesn't click. That is why they do something and you punish and then they turn around and do it again. Talk to your drs. there are different ways that you can do things.

I'm sorry, I go through the same thing with mine and my step daughter, but the time someone would let me take her to get her tested, she was in 7th grade, and was on a low 5th grade level. They just wrote her off as a bad child, and just kept passing her. When we met with the school the first time, they said she would probably not get a diploma, just a certificate of completion for high school, but after a lot of medication and counseling, she graduated and even went to college. She just needed extra help and the school wouldn't give it until they were pushed, and once we did, there were so many other kids that benefited because they had problems too, but the parents were afraid to act.

Don't let the school get by with not helping, they are there to teach your child and school is important.


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## MY MIKADO (Apr 7, 2006)

I'm going to go out on a limb and ask you if your son is dyslexic. My son is. He has so much trouble reading it is hard for me because I was reading at age 4 but my son struggles everyday. 

Have you thought about homeschooling. I do, my son may not be the brightest child around but he is happy has tons of self confidence and I have not met one person who doesn't think he is specail and a great younge man.

Another thing you could try is Tae Kwon Do. This is a great sport it teachs the child alot. I highly recommend it. My son has been doing it for over a year now and I have seen a big change in his behavior.


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## LiiL_L0cz_Red_N0se (Sep 15, 2008)

MY MIKADO said:


> I'm going to go out on a limb and ask you if your son is dyslexic. My son is. He has so much trouble reading it is hard for me because I was reading at age 4 but my son struggles everyday.
> 
> Have you thought about homeschooling. I do, my son may not be the brightest child around but he is happy has tons of self confidence and I have not met one person who doesn't think he is specail and a great younge man.
> 
> Another thing you could try is Tae Kwon Do. This is a great sport it teachs the child alot. I highly recommend it. My son has been doing it for over a year now and I have seen a big change in his behavior.


very good post!!! yeahgettin your son active in other things will also help... like someone mentioned above, having someone OTHER than u or a teach help with hw and school helps alot. like i said, i ran an after school program called "The Boys And Girls Club" at a low income school. they had alot of kids failing the 1/2/3 grade and just having us there to hang out and get things done with them helpes alot. i had 47 failing second graders when i went in feb of 07 and when i finished in june of 07 only 2 had failed. it really helps to have them active and build confidence.

but yes, you need to put that teacher in her place! ur kid needs more then just somethine scribbled on the board and kids repeating. good luck


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## ForPits&Giggles (Oct 21, 2008)

I agree that he should be involved in something if he isnt. I took karate when I was younger and it taught me alot about self confidence, and respect. Not only towards myself, but others as well. I didnt do very well in school either, I found it to be rather boring and if it wasnt something I was interested in I just couldn't focus on the teacher. I never once feel asleep in class but often times found myself day dreaming about other things. Sometimes a kid just needs to be challenged a little more.


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## smith family kennels (Jan 10, 2009)

I am not sure if he is dsylic (god I can't spell) Thats one thing they haven't tested him for. I have been thinking the same thing my self. 

He plays baseball in the spring. He was going to play basketball this year but I tried the if you make good grades you can play crap and that didnt work so next year im going to just let him play. I want to put him in karate but can't afford it at this time its 80 dollars a month around here which is ridiculous. I was told that there is a a program for adhd kids where they get a scholarship to take karate but I haven't found that yet. I have also thought that would be good for him.


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## Indica (Sep 23, 2008)

Chin up, it WILL get better.

I was diagnosed with ADD. I was not hyperactive which is supposedly more common in boys. My brother had severe ADHD.

First, the bad:
Over a period of ten years, I took Aderall, Concerta, and another drug I cannot recall. Concerta was the most effective and most hardcore of all the ADD medications. It worked for me. Not because I needed it, but because the way the drug works...I became obessive about cleanliness and order. I was antisocial, depressed, and quick tempered. My emotions were extreme in every sense of the word and I slept about 3 hours a day. Rarely ate. I did, however make very good grades, etc. At 18, I was rushed to the hospital. My heartrate was 190bpm, my blood pressure was 197/127 and was shaking uncontrollably. They had to administer intravenous drugs to lower my heartrate, but my veins had constricted and they stuck me 15+ times in various places. Later that year, I began experiencing PACs. Nothing too bad, just uncomfortable. Then, my heart got hung up in an irregular rythm and I seriously thought I was dying. I went to the St.Thomas heart group in Nashville. I wore a recording monitor for a month. I was diagnosed with Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome. An investigation was done and I was on 3x the recommended dose for Concerta.

I believe that stimulant based drugs will KILL you.

Now, for the hope!
I didn't have add. I just hated math. But, my brother on the other hand. I believe he really did have it. He was crazy! He was put on the same drug. Worked for him, but made him really, REALLY depressed. He did terrible in elementary school...
but, if you can get him through past puberty, things get better! Alot better! You wouldn't think so, but its true. Once he gets a bit more mature, you will have your son back. For now, keep him as active as you can. It will help.

Good luck and be careful with the medication!! Do research! [/I]


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## Mrs_APBT_America (Jul 19, 2008)

I was diagnosed with ADHD, lol, the doctor told my parents to get me a horse, or an animal I can be with and care for constantly, lol, I think it did calm me down and made me more calm and dependable. Lol, but we had a weird doctor when I was younger, he never allowed me to be on any medications. But the side affect, hmm.... I now have 3 horses, 13 chinchillas, 5 dogs, and was 2 cats but we caught a wild one 2 days ago so we adopted her so now 3 cats. Lol.

Oh and I was a straight F student in school, couldn't sit still and couldn't concentrate on what teachers said and if I did I didn't remember it past 5 minutes. That all changed when I got my first horse I could call mine. After that I was straight A and graduated highschool with a 3.9 GPA, not the best but way better than I started out.  Keep your head up!!


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## chic4pits (Aug 25, 2008)

smith family kennels said:


> I will have to say I make a better dog owner than a parent. My 6 year old has sever ADHD and I swear I get a note from his teacher twice a week. This house is so frustrated with school. That it takes 2 hours to do homework if it gets done then. My son and I sit at the table crying trying to get homework done. He's crying cause he hates homework and hates school and refuses to do it and I'm crying cause my encourgement doesn't seem to help and I just want him to do good. His grades aren't getting any better and the more I push the worse they get. His teacher stays on my ass and makes me feel like shit. We have a hard time getting to school on time cause he doesn't want to go and I suffer from sleep depervastion cause my child only sleeps 3 to 6 hours a day and as been that way since he was 3 years old. He sees a psych. on a regular bases. We are trying different meds. He is in after school tutoring a couple days a week and I still feel like a failure. What the hell does this woman expect me too do? My happy child has turned into a child that hates to learn new things and hates to go to school. He is now a very depressed child and doesn't even want to play baseball this year.


my middle son is this way, and they have a program here in louisiana called sylvains learning center and their teachers are actually trained on how to help students w/ these prbs. (they are an afterschool program) i will reccomend them to anyone, since my son has been in this programs he has went from d's and f's to c's /b's and an a thrown in once in a while, which in a 3 mth time span to see that kinda improvemnt is awsome! they are a little pricey..but every cent is worth it! check them out if you can!


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## ptw (Jan 8, 2009)

You can do home school online which will allow you to specialize his classes and time. I've seen it do wonders!


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## smith family kennels (Jan 10, 2009)

I talked to his doctor earlier they are changing his meds again. I will find out what it is tomorrow. I hate doctors they are morons. I just got through telling them that the adderal was making him cranky and tired in the after noon (he's only been on it a week) Which is 15mg. So they want to change it to a different med and make it 20mg are they on crack. I should have just left him on the focalin. We will see what it does. I wrote his teacher a note last night explaining how things were here at him. She wrote me back saying they would like a home program for daymian and I. I don't need help being a parent I need help with his school work. I am going to talk to his counciler at school on thursday when I get off work this is crazy. How hard is it just to stick him in a ld class. He needs help not sympathoy I am really starting to hate this woman. I would go and talk to her but I am one of those people that I came really sweet and understanding and can take a whole lot of crap but once I hit that limit I snap. If I snap I will have to get lil red nose to come bail me out of jail lol


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## smith family kennels (Jan 10, 2009)

oh by the way I think its in the food. Americans cosume way to may perservatives and every year more and more kids have this problem. hmmm


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## MY MIKADO (Apr 7, 2006)

Sometimes Snapping is the best thing a person can do. I know it has worked for me. I hit my breaking point and things happen.


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## Indigo Bully Connection (Dec 21, 2006)

Indica said:


> Chin up, it WILL get better.
> 
> I was diagnosed with ADD. I was not hyperactive which is supposedly more common in boys. My brother had severe ADHD.
> 
> ...


Wow, we have more than I thought in common! Both have dogs named Indi and we were treated for ADD the same way with similar results of the medication! The last time I took Concerta was the night that I was laying in bed and couldn't move a muscle it felt like there were sand bags on my arms. I was stuck in bed at night and I couldn't even open my mouth to say "Help"... I came out of it after what seemed like forever, only to go back into that state of being a few minutes later. After coming out of it the second time I didn't sleep for the rest of the evening. I have no idea what happened, my parents never took me to the hospital...we were lucky enough to afford the Concerta!

I know you guys will think I'm nuts, and I no way incourage this path of treatment for any child, but about a month after that incident was the first time I smoked pot. I used it on and off recreationally from 13-15 years of age... about 15 1/2 i became a daily smoker, and I will never take another pill for my learning dissability because i have not become tolerant nor have i ever had any adverse side effects... I take like 3 hits and it does the same exact thing as the concerta minus the staying awake for days. It doesn't make me tired nor hungry, probably because of the chemical imbalance known as ADD, but i can either concentrate on one thing or multi task if i need to.


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## smith family kennels (Jan 10, 2009)

They have changed his meds to vyvanse we'll see how this works. His old counsler is going to start coming to the house to visit if the dogs don't scare him away lol. They are going to test him for dslexya and the is going to start tutoring more after school. We will see if any of this works


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## ptw (Jan 8, 2009)

In your situation I would definitely have him home schooled. Nobody is going to care about your child's education and well being more than you are. They do it online now which requires WAY less from the parents. I'm not sure how it is in Bama, but in Fl home school students can still be involved in public school extra-curics and sports. I know it may seem daunting, but if he's old enough to be home alone, with the work and curiculum being on the computer, you wouldn't have to quit work. I would really consider it. One thing I learned in dealing with numb-skulled public schools is that you are not going to change how they do things. You could scream to the school board and even the state, but that school and that teacher are going to act the same and have the same opinion of your son and you. If you're going to leave him in school, you are going to have to change the school he's in, or at the very least change his teacher.


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## jeep lex (Jan 29, 2009)

i was tested for ADD really late like 11th grade they told me i had a moderate case but i had got myself this far that i diddnt see the point in meds and the nyc school system is terrible i would go thru most days day dreaming through every class if not sleeping. most of my teachers hated me because i would hand in one homework a semester and for some reason i would get better grades on there tests than the majority of the class(except math to this day im still horrible in math) they would make me take tests in the office by myself sometimes because my teachers swore that if i wasnt doing work and sleeping i couldnt get 80's and 90's on tests without cheating i just laughed at them when they would grade the test in front of me after sitting in the office by myself and id get an 88. just cause its a learning disorder doesent make us stupid just keep working with him its not his fault and punishment isnt gunna work my parents used to punish me all the time and i would be punished for the same thing a week later just work with him and realize hes not doing this to be difficult although its so frustrating you think its intentional (i watched my parents cry over me all the time) things will get better hes still really young, the days darkest before the dawn as they say


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## nate (Oct 15, 2008)

he takes after me i had an IQ of 127 in 7th grade most of that was from math i never was good a spelling or any of that i still cant spell for shit 
but he got lauras adhd times 10 
why we onley have one child one bad breeding is all it took


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